Friday 26 November 2010

First Test, Day Two: Nobody knows anything

The Brian Close Stand There And Take It Award: Michael Clarke's back and head

'I knew that I would win, he knew that I knew that I would win, and I knew that he knew that I knew that I would win' confrontation: Graeme Swann to Marcus North.

Total Cricket moment: Paul Collingwood bowling at Mike Hussey. Mr Cricket versus the man who would doubtless be called 'England's Mr Cricket' if anyone had to be. Back in the 1970s, these two would have been employed to play a single-innings match against each other, for broadcast over the Christmas holidays.

Par watch: 'It's pretty tight, probably 50-50 at the moment,' - Mike Hussey; 'It's ebbed and flowed and I'm sure it will tomorrow' - Steve Finn; ''How poor are they that not have patience' said the villainous Iago' - Mike Selvey, Guardian; 'Edgy Hussey saves team, career' - Brisbane Courier Mail

Phil Space Award, 'You Don't Say' Category: 'If Hussey can push on and secure a lead of a hundred, there will be added pressure and England could be in trouble. If Australia are shot out quickly, batting last on a pitch with a dirty great crack appearing in the pitching area for spin bowlers, it could be the break Graeme Swann needs' - Martin Samuel, Daily Mail

Freddie's Evening: 'Good day for the lads, on a personal note, I am getting too old to pull all-nighters' - via Twitter

Serious point of the day: Mike Hussey's footwork. Exemplary.

Sun Tzu's Advice for the UDRS: 'The quality of decision is like the well-timed swoop of a falcon which enables it to strike and destroy its victim'


Dean @ Cricket Betting Blog said...

Was that Donald Rumsfeld describing Graeme Swann to Marcus North?

Brit said...

Back in the 1970s, these two would have been employed to play a single-innings match against each other, for broadcast over the Christmas holidays.

Now that sounds like entertainment. But why stop there? After the cricket I'd have Colly and Hussey go man-to-man at the 100 yard dash, arm-wrestling, chess, darts, boxing and, the climax, a marathon. They would of course be neck-and-neck all the way and, in the last yards of the marathon, shake hands and, exhausted but unbowed, cross the line arm-in-arm to the delighted roar of the Anglo-Aussie crowd who put aside their rivalry and all repair down the pub for tinnies and good cheer.

I'm 'tear-ing up' just thinking about it.

The Old Batsman said...

Yes, the known unknowns of the gabba...!

Brit - write it as TV play - I'd watch...

Brit said...

I'm thinking TV series, OB, Sunday night job.

After they've bonded in that pilot episode, Colly and Hussey could set up as an amateur sleuth team. Play hard against each other all day, then come together between Tests to solve various cricket-related mysteries. Might get Brucie involved as script editor.

Every week we could contrive a situation that would require the sort of skills the boys have honed on the cricket field, such as throwing a roundish rock accurately at a three vertical sticks of dynamite, or standing still for a long time, occasionally clapping in an encouraging manner.

The Old Batsman said...

The series arc could explore the complex psychology of their relationship as their innate niceness leads them into a passive-aggressive fight for dominance

Brit said...

Absolutely - that stuff is Brucie's bread-and-butter. We should also have car chases and the odd nipple.

Blueskying possible titles here: 'Ashes to Ashes (and 7 One-Day Internationals)'; or, following the Steve Bruce method, how about 'Batting Allrounder!'

The Old Batsman said...

Yep, keep it literal. And the plot will hinge on them hearing a villain call Ryan Ten Doeschate their favourite player, thus enabling an ID as a dutch national with a place on the Essex coast.

worm said...

in homage to Mr Bruce, you could call it 'Sweeper!' or even go for the more literal (and mysterious) 'Deep Cover', although that would probably have to involve spying, or a particularly nasty duvet accident