The Alternative IPL Awards 2010

The Golden Cap 'Most Money For Least Effort' Award: Yuvraj Singh

The 'Am I The Only One Who Realises Doug Bollinger Is Not Wasim Akram?' Award: Kieron Pollard

The Fake IPL Player Best Twitter Account: Lalit Modi

The Jacques Kallis 'Most Not Outs' Red Cap Award: Jacques Kallis

The DLF Maxx Mobile Citi Moment Of Success Karbon Kamal Commentator Who Remembered The Most Sponsors Award: Robin Jackman [runner-up Danny Morrison]

Best Resolution Of Long-Held Grudge Award: Harbhajan Singh 49* from 18 balls versus Andrew Symonds' Deccan Chargers

Best Hair: Saurabh Tiwary

Most Deserving Of A Sponsor's Bonus: Matthew Hayden's 'calling for' the Mongoose

Man of the Tournament: Lalit Modi [of course]. The 'Free The IPL One' Campaign starts here...

World T20... cut - and that's a wrap

So it's over, and it had a bit of everything; the redemptive story arc, the handsome hero, some noble deeds, feisty sidekicks, a little comedy, pathos, bathos, slapstick, farce, even the odd rewrite. And like all the best flicks, someone had the good sense to cut it and leave us wanting more, or at least not less. Stand up Steve Elworthy. You doing anything in 2010, buddy? There's a 50 over tournament that needs sorting out...

You know who the Oscar winners were. But who took home the Razzies, the brickbats, the alternative acclaim? Well:

Quote of the tournament: 'We're not bothered about the fielding' - Younus Khan. 

[Not bothered about fielding. Still won. Music to the ears.]

Best attempt at a not-outer [sponsored by Red Ink inc]: Jacques Kallis, SA vs Pakistan

Most dramatic injury: Kevin Pietersen ['I could break down at any time'].

Best haircut: Isuru Udana. Perennial Runner Up: Ishant

Deja Vu All Over Again Moment: England's first ball to Yuvraj, England vs India

Best run-out attempt, with overthrows: Stuart Broad, England vs Netherlands

Best Bowling: Brett Lee 3-0-51-0, Australia vs West Indies

The Best Australian Bowler Allan Border Medal Award: Dirk Nannes [Netherlands]

Best player of spin: Kieron Pollard, West Indies vs Sri Lanka

Best player of fast bowling: Suresh Raina, India vs England

The Hummel Replica Sports Shirts 'XI With The Most Upfront' Award: South Africa

Services To UK Tourism: Ricky Ponting - 'We've got two weeks in Leicester'.

The One Fact Everyone Knows Award: Don't square cut Shahid Afridi - AB de Villiers

Finished Exactly Where Expected Award: England [Super-Eights]

Understudy of the Tournament: Graham Napier, England

And finally...

Best retirement: That must go to Younus, too, ['I'm too old for this kind of cricket'] along with the most idealistic yet somehow hopeful speech: 'I am requesting of all countries, you must come to Pakistan. Everyone knows law and order is not good, but it's not our fault. Especially for youngsters, we need home series because there is no cricket in Pakistan. How can we motivate the youngsters, especially at school level and college level? I think this will help us build a new structure in Pakistan for our future'.

Well, until then, they can play here anytime. 

Update: The Sportsfreak Tipping Competition results are in. Now I know how Brett Lee feels.