The phony war is almost over. Which is a shame, because it's quite good. Today the Guardian fired a salvo from left-field with the recruitment of Stuart Clark to play Yang to Duncan Fletcher's Yin.
An unusual choice, the big lad from New South Wales. His first gig was a free hit, a man-by-man on the England squad to stand against Implacable Dunc's ever-incisive take on the Australians.
On the available evidence, Clarkie's decided against the research route and instead had a dig around in his kit-bag and pulled out Tim Neilsen's notes from 2009. Hence Jonathan Trott is 'one of England's in-form batsmen'; KP 'on his day one of the most destructive batsmen in world cricket'; Ian Bell has 'a lingering doubt about his' - you guessed it - 'mental toughness'; Stuart Broad's great attribute 'is his height'; and Graeme Swann - amazingly enough for an off-spinner - bowls with 'drift and control'.
Job done Stuey! We might have found the new Michael Vaughan. Speaking of whom, let's hope he's still on the Telegraph payroll.
Clarke also has the honour of the first entry for this year's Phil Space Trophy. Hacks of the world, start your laptops...
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