Sub-editor of the day: 'The first ball phobia of the bowlers transferred itself to the batsmen as Andrew Strauss was out third ball' - Telegraph caption
Which Mitch? Ordinary Mitch today. Tattoos looked sharp though.
New Boy: Xavier Doherty - called 'Ex- Ayvier' all day by Shane Warne, great first ball, dropped catch, made Kevin Pietersen laugh.
Par watch: 'It was certainly under par' - Ian Bell; 'England's day really wasn't that bad' Steve James, Telegraph; 'Australia dominated day one' - Sydney Morning Herald; 'England perhaps 30 runs short' - Guardian.
Best accent: Peter Siddle - makes Ricky Ponting sound like Brian Sewell. Post play interview probably needed subtitles for English viewers.
Channel Nine moment of the day: 'Umpire's Decision - Out' - caption on referral system playback of Siddle's unsuccessful appeal against Trott.
Movember moments: Hilfenhaus to Pietersen.
Freddie's plans: 'Family time. Will nip to the pub later for my pint, let me know how good yours tastes, then up all night for day two, come on England' - via Twitter
Zen reflection on day one: Neither ours nor theirs. It just was.