5 matches; 145 runs at 29.00, s/r 112.40, hs 55
Ooh, that straight drive. Ooh, that cut shot. Ravinder is quickly becoming as good as he thinks he is. Befriended by KP. KP's other friends: Warnie, Chris Gayle. Dead giveaway. Ravi, the world is yours.
5 matches; 113 runs at 22.60, s/r 134.52, hs 71; 1 wkt at 58.00, econ 8.28
UB40 had a song called 1 in 10. It was not a reference to the ratio of innings in which Luke Wright is likely come good, but it's not far off. More like one in six or seven, which is around the number he should come in at. If, though, you require someone to hit the ball vertically up in the air to an implausible height, he's your man.
4 matches; 154 runs at 38.50, s/r 152.47, h/s 58; 1 wkt at 17.00, econ 8.50
You might not be aware of this because he barely mentioned it - he hates drama and attention - but he has an achilles injury, which has been injected. Still has those big match balls to go with his big match shots though, and is becoming a far more convincing T20 man.
11/10 - actually the first to use a third-person nickname whilst discussing himself.
5 matches, 106 runs at 21.20, s/r 108.16, h/s 38
Weird, twitchy, strangely melancholic, Owais needs more love than he's getting. Has the range of shots and the power. A minor manifestation of the Hick/Ramprakash enigma.
5 matches, 63 runs at 12.60, s/r 114.54, h/s 19; 1 wkt at 17.00, econ 8.50
The Peter Principal, which suggests that a man has been promoted out of a job, might now be renamed the Paul Principal. As a captain, he shares one quality with Mike Brearley - he bats like him. Anyone witnessing the group that surrounded Colly when any kind of decision needed making might deduce that he wasn't really captaining. Affected his fielding and he bowled only two overs. Farewell Colly, but thanks.
3 matches, 42 runs at 42.00, s/r 100.00, h/s 25*; 2 wickets at 22.50, econ 6.42
Quiz question: who came top of England's batting and bowling averages at the 2009 World T20? Correct, it was Dimi, one of Warnie's go-to men at Rajasthan. The clue's in SHANE WARNE, selectors. Goes without saying that you know better than him, though.
5 matches, 37 runs at 12.33, s/r 115.62, h/s 14*; ct 3 st 3
Nervy at first but that electric, quicksilver stumping of Yuvraj turned the India game. Because this is England, there is now a body of opinion that says he should be replaced by Matt Prior. Wrong. Prior is good enough to play as a batsman. With more power in the middle order Foster's nurdling will be given a proper context, and T20, with its contractions and distillations, is the one format where a single piece of wicketkeeping brilliance can effectively win a match.
1/10 - far too self effacing for all that. Which is nice.
4 matches, 5 wickets at 19.40, econ 6.92; 15 runs at 7.50, h/s 10*, s/r 93.75
About as good a conventional, non-mystery, straight-up, loopy, hit-that-if-you-can off-spin bowler as there is. Nous and swagger are his defences. Dreams of owning a Ferrari - that speaks of uncomplicated ambition. Potential to be a Harbhajan-type slogger if he practices.
4 matches, 3 wickets at 31.66, econ 7.30; 9 runs at --, h/s 9*, s/r 52.94
England were far more scared of him than he was of playing for England. The absolute best thing was his response to being hit.
5 matches, 6 wickets at 17.33, econ 6.50; 22 runs at 22.00. h/s 10*, s/r 200.00
At the last one, he went for six sixes. At this one, he produced the overthrow that let the Netherlands beat England. That neither of these things will be held against him reflect his character. Came up with the round the wicket thing - good, and the arm-pointing thing - bad.
5 matches, 5 wickets at 26.20, econ 7.55; 1 inns, 0 runs
Compared to Umar Gul, a disappointment. Compared to Mitchell Johnson, a success. That's Jimmy, occasionally devastating, more often middle of the pack. Didn't appear once as nightwatchman though, which must have felt weird.
3 matches, 3 wickets at 22.00, econ 7.39; DNB
Probably undercooked, which made the last over against India impressive. Like most England bowlers, has a tendency to over-think things. Six yorkers are the default position - go on from there.
1 match, six runs at 6.00, s/r 75.00, h/s 6
Bought the hype. Thought that England had selected him for the offbeat shots [let's be honest, they had], and felt obliged to play them. Needed proper direction. England - as usual - ran away in fear after one game. Must now be haunted by the name Ed Joyce.
1 match, 10 runs at --, h/s 10*, s/r 125.00
The most cursory study of Rob Key's career will reveal that a] England have toyed with his emotions like Madonna with a third-world orphan, and b] underneath the robust, ruddy exterior, Key does not feel like he belongs. The selectors' ambiguity extended to one game and being batted out of position like a red-faced sucker. A good player has been internationally neutered.
What could England possibly want with a world-record-holding six hitter who bowls at 85mph? I mean, really, what did he expect - a game? In this team? Sheesh.