Friday, 14 May 2010

The enemy that will not die

England's equipment checklist for sunday:

Bats

Balls

Pads/Helmets

Protective gear

Boots

Clothing

Silver bullets

Stakes [to be driven through hearts]

Garlic

Ensure the Kensington Oval is a] consecrated ground b] built on a crossroads

4 comments:

Wes said...

Silver bullets? No chance. Warner catches them with his teeth. Garlic? No chance. Immunity by Greek immigrant. Stakes? Might work. Their hearts are so big that even Bresnan can't miss them.
^^

Cheers from a happy one.

Wes' last blog:
Australia: alive! Supporters: dead!

The MG said...

Wes, there would be immunity to garlic if the Aussie team was actually somewhat diverse, but they've managed to keep it pretty anglified for so long that they'll struggle against it. That, and because Shane Watson has been watching too much Twilight.

England, on the other hand, have plenty of diversity now that they've got some people other than South Africans in there, and Morgan is more than adept at killing oppositions with a well-aimed potato.

tnewman@desertsun.co.uk said...

Or, maybe, with the benefit of hindsight, all England need to do is bowl line and length, prevent the Australians going over the top and scoring boundaries, limit their total to a paltry 147, and take advantage of loose Aussie bowling from the fifth over onwards.

Australia were beaten soundly by a better team tonight. Last minute heroics against Pakistan are yesterday's news.

Rob said...

I think you may be onto something there - I reckon Michael Clark probably is from Transylvania.