'Crouchy's a bit lively with his height, and the groundsman had just wet the pitch down, so it was a real green top,' said skipper John Terry. 'Wazza's gone to hospital as a precaution. It was just bad luck really - no-one could have seen it coming. The lads like to have a game of cricket because it's a good way to get them going in the morning when you have to warm up 200 days a year.'
'Rooney's injury is the third sustained by an England international while playing cricket in the Wembley goalmouth. David James had a bail flick into his eye while standing up to David Beckham's occasional off-spin last march, while Ashley Cole top-edged a ball into his jaw attempting to reverse-sweep one of Steve McLaren's dibbly-dobblers during the ill-fated European Championship qualifying campaign.'
Yeah, er not very likely, is it... After all, which international sporting teams would keep getting themselves injured playing a game with which they're not familiar?