Great areas, Shane...

Shane Warne's deconstruction of the IPL is here, and it's worth reading. The Old Batsman's in en route. When I get minute...

Tremwatch III

Number of matches Surrey have played this season: 4

Number of matches Chris Tremlett has missed as the club 'manage his workload': 4

Chris Tremlett's actual workload so far: 0 overs

NB: Andre Nel has been suspended until May 4, meaning he'll miss two Clydesdale Bank Pro 40 games. Number of overs available that Tremmers might potentially bowl: 16. First one to sight the great man actually playing cricket and supply photographic evidence to this blog wins a prize [to be determined]...

Lalit Modi: a prediction

Before he posted what might become the most expensive tweet in history, a friend and I were discussing Lalit Modi. It had been bugging me who he reminded me of, and then I realised: it was Don King.

Not physically or in matters of style, but they're the same under the skin. So here's a prediction: there's about as much chance of Lalit walking away from the IPL without a fight as there was of Don King letting someone else promote the heavyweight champion of the world.

Here's a good Don story to be going on with. Can't remember exactly who the boxer was, but it was from the 'lost' pre-Tyson era of Tim Witherspoon, Greg Page, Pinklon Thomas etc. The fighter was defending the heavyweight championship. Don joined him in his limo to the fight, telling him tales of all the money they were going to make together in the next few years. He felt great. Then he entered the ring, and after a hard fight, got knocked out. The first thing he remembered seeing when he opened his eyes, still flat on his back in the corner, was Don King stepping over him to get to the winner. 'I came with the champ and I left with the champ,' Don said.

The Alternative IPL Awards 2010

The Golden Cap 'Most Money For Least Effort' Award: Yuvraj Singh

The 'Am I The Only One Who Realises Doug Bollinger Is Not Wasim Akram?' Award: Kieron Pollard

The Fake IPL Player Best Twitter Account: Lalit Modi

The Jacques Kallis 'Most Not Outs' Red Cap Award: Jacques Kallis

The DLF Maxx Mobile Citi Moment Of Success Karbon Kamal Commentator Who Remembered The Most Sponsors Award: Robin Jackman [runner-up Danny Morrison]

Best Resolution Of Long-Held Grudge Award: Harbhajan Singh 49* from 18 balls versus Andrew Symonds' Deccan Chargers

Best Hair: Saurabh Tiwary

Most Deserving Of A Sponsor's Bonus: Matthew Hayden's 'calling for' the Mongoose

Man of the Tournament: Lalit Modi [of course]. The 'Free The IPL One' Campaign starts here...

MIA

Had a couple of days of solid business - not much happened while I was out, did it? Just the two semi-finals, a couple of offices raided, questions asked in Parliament, the odd billion dollars going into franchises and 'coming out white', Lalit having to play a few shots off the back foot for a change... Thought so - business as usual. It's why the IPL kicks ass. Come back soon, boys.

The meeting this afternoon was enlivened by a discussion about CB Fry's ability to jump backwards onto a mantelpiece. That, and the sheer scale of the man's life, retains its ability to astound...

True stories

Terrific Line and Length column over at the Times today from Patrick Kidd. A superlative Boycs anecdote and the answer to the KP question Michael Vaughan is asked the most [yes he did].

Very superstitious...

I have a new bat. It's a freebie, thanks to a friend of mine who has access to such things. I am in his debt, because this bad boy has every flavour you might crave: a true, straight grain on flawless white, slim shoulders, a long, sleek fin on the spine that reminds me of the old Slazenger V12 and a deep, low bow made for English pitches.

Best of all, it tips the scale at 2lbs 8 and a quarter of Her Majesty's ounces, a rarity in these days of railway sleeper cudgels. I've been given several bats over the years, and this one is the first I'd say I might have picked out myself. It sort of flows; it's a magnificent thing.

I've taken it to the nets and it's all that it should be, given the limitations of its owner. There's just one thing, a little thing, a daft thing that's never happened to me with any new bat before, ever. The first ball I faced with it, I nicked behind. It was only from the bowling machine, and the nets were packed and noisy, so I'm the only person on earth who knows it happened. But you know, I know.

I'm not superstitious in day-to-day life. I don't care about walking under ladders. I'd screw up any chain letter without thinking. I sometimes count magpies, but that's about it. I've never been superstitious about playing, probably because it's only ever been a bit of fun, an escape.

I always think of Vinod Kambli, though - Vinod, that glorious and doomed enigma, damned by hubris, caste [allegedly] and mental demons, the man who ended up with nine rubber grips on his handle. I remember too Graham Thorpe's endless tinkering with his bats, Steve Waugh's red rag, Sachin's right pad and so on, ad infinitum.

Batting, like anything that demands repetition, has elements of obsession to it. It requires something from your inner life. When you bat, ultimately, you are alone in a team game. Even someone as iron-hard as Steve Waugh took comfort in superstition, or at least in repetition.

So the fact I nicked that first ball kind of bugs me. Should I not nick the first ball I face in a match, maybe it will go. If I do, maybe it'll go too. I'm just telling myself I'm not superstitious, either way. You?