Doing lines

The first class averages were once the implacable judges of a season. You used to have to wait for them, too, in the pre-information age. The newspaper would print them eventually, as would The Cricketer, those long lines of evidence, Boycott usually on or near the top of the batting, the bowling the preserve of saturnine gods WW Daniel [Middx] and ST Clarke [Sur], deadly quicks born out of time. Further down, loaded with ennui, the stats of BA Richards - 50-odd was enough for him, double that not enough to sate Geoffrey.

Those glowing few decades seem like mirages now: King Viv, Joel Garner and Beefy playing entire seasons at the same club, Macco Marshall bowling hundreds of overs for Hampshire, the captain of West Indies carving a life at Old Trafford, England's players returning by rote to their counties as Tests concluded, Hadlee unplayable at Trent Bridge, and so on, apparently ad infinitum, until it wasn't.

Now those stats are immediate and mitigated. At the PCA awards Neil Carter took the player of the season award for 617 runs and 51 wickets, just over half the traditional 'double', yet the weight of his stats grew once the century and two fifties in a winning CB40 campaign and his 16 T20 wickets were added in. In time-poor times, no-one has the time for old-school stats.

But they remain fascinating. The most obvious point made by the batting figures is that it was a bowlers' season. Even the brooding prince of English batsmanship, the Heathcliff of Div Two, MR Ramprakash, had to settle for 1,595 runs at 61.34 in the year he turned 40. What a player he is.

What shines through the stats is the nobility of the competition. The Championship went down to its final day, a shattering one in a shattering week for Somerset and Marcus Trescothick, a man who continues to enrich the game. It's ironic that, in understanding his despair at Somerset's empty season, it became easier to see what we have gained from his international absence. During a summer when international cricket seemed endless and, in that endlessness, corruptible, men like Trescothick had the force of history behind them.

Should young people be allowed to play county cricket?

Young players at Leicestershire have 'been whipped into a state of hysteria,' according to Chief Executive Mike Siddall. Elsewhere, an unnamed batsman has celebrated his hundred 'by simulating a sex act'.

Say what you like about Mark Ramprakash, he's not going to dry hump Rory Hamilton-Brown the next time he passes three figures...

Days of Grace

A bomb went off at Grace Road yesterday, one of those comedy cartoon ones that has 'BOMB' written on the side in big white letters and a long fuse that slowly burns down while it gets passed between the characters, everyone wondering who'll be left holding it when it finally explodes. Matthew Hoggard, Tim Boon and chairman Neil Davidson turned out to be the ones covered in soot.

As with lots of wars these days, it wasn't entirely clear afterwards who had won. Hoggy, being Hoggy and one of England's stoutest yeomen, has all of Leicester on his side, including the players, staff and membership. But this is county cricket, and this is England, and so Neil Davidson has his job title and the minutiae of company procedure on his [The Skiver provides an excellent summary here*].

Ex-milkman Davidson then did what all chairmen under the cosh do - he immediately went on holiday. Poor old Hoggy, who must be wondering exactly what he has done to offend the Gods over the past couple of years, had to go and bowl at Mark Ramprakash. Ramps only got 179 not out. Under that famous stack of hair, Hoggy grimaced and ran in once more, uphill and into the wind.

* J-rod was presumably otherwise disposed appearing on the radio. I was driving home minding my own business when he turned up on Five Live, defending the indefensible Ricky Ponting. I almost crashed my car...

Fitted up

Is dear old county cricket fixed? the Telegraph grew semi-hysterical on the subject yesterday amid speculation elsewhere that the story might be a plant to let the world know that the knobblers are around.

They are drawing a distinction here between spot fixing [player deliberately bowls a wide etc] and match fixing [results are manufactured], with an eye on the fact that around 30 domestic T20 matches will be broadcast 'overseas' [you know, where the scary men live].

Yet a great truth remains unspoken. The only way any kind of fixing can ever really be proven is if those involved come forward. That is a fact too dangerous for the corruption units to admit out loud, but they surely know it.

The briefest of glances at a random day's cricket proves the point. Yesterday for example, where the following happened:

Andre Nel made 96 for Surrey.

His last wicket partnership with Jade Dernbach took Surrey from 268-9 to 386 all out.

Leicester, having made 291 in their first innings, were dismissed for 71 in their second.

That set Glamorgan 198 to win, 33 more than they'd made in their first innings. They got them for the loss of no wickets.

Durham, county champions, lost by an innings and four runs to Kent at home in just over a day.

All of these things are odd, or at least unpredictable. But even Andre Nel is likely to make runs once in his life - that day was yesterday. These are normal variations on a theme. Yet they are all irregularities, outside of the usual. They're why you'll always need a confession to be sure.

Tremwatch II

Number of games Surrey have played this season: 2

Number of matches Chris Tremlett has missed as the club aim to 'manage his workload': 2

This one could run and run... [unlike Tremmers]

Don't wake David Stewart up, it's nice where he is...

'Our players are now on 12-month contracts and to get real value out of that, we want Surrey players playing in the off-season in big tournaments. If we could combine with some of the bigger clubs around the world to create tournaments that Surrey teams could play in, in South Africa or India, that would interest us a lot. That is the sort of thing we are exploring.' - David Stewart, Chairman, Surrey CCC, 9 April 2010.

Great idea Dave - you mean a bit like this one?

It must be enjoyable to visit the parallel universe that the people who run county cricket live in. It's a peaceful place, with lots of deck chairs, and meetings with some other jolly good chaps where you have tea and decide that everything should probably just carry on, because it's a rather nice day outside and the cheque from the ECB is due about now anyway...

Maybe they should start selling holidays there. I'd like to book in for a couple of weeks sometimes. Restful. In the meantime, they're back to considering an idea they had three years ago, for city franchises. You know, a bit like these ones.

NB: Those Surrey players David has under contract: Rory Hamilton-Brown, 22-year-old captain, 10 first class games, 25 T20 games; Chris Tremlett - currently being 'rested to manage his workload' [number of games Surrey have played this season: 1]; Mark Ramprakash - oh let's face it, no-one else ever picks Ramps, however glorious he remains. And he spent his pre-season doing this. Surrey's first result of the season in Div II: lost by 208 runs.

NNB: An interesting post from David Hepworth about a man who sounds a bit like this one. Who can think of a job for a fellow like that?

Runs, wickets, matchfixing, coppers... what's not to like?

Conventional wisdom says the county championship is boring. Conventional wisdom is wrong. It's only been back for two days, and there's already been a double hundred, a nine wicket bag, and, in tune with ineffable beauty of green England in spring, Mark Ramprakash not out overnight at the Oval. 

Oh, and there's been a matchfixing scandal too. Or there might have been, involving Essex. During the years of three-day Championship games, match-fixing went on every day, and no-one took any notice. Captains would get together, rubbish would be bowled, declarations would be agreed by both sides. No-one minded, because in three day games, it was the only way you could usually get a result. Those seem like distant and innocent times now. 

Essex, or a couple of Essex players, have allegedly bowled badly in a Pro-40 game. Inspector knacker, in the guise of the Essex constabulary, is on the case. Given the way Essex have played in recent years, they'll have a lot of evidence to sift through, distinguishing deliberate rubbish from the normal dreck.

Although the fuzz weren't naming names, most of the press were quick to report that one of the players was Danish Kaneria. The Times, though, was remarkably coy in this report. They just tacked on a seemingly unrelated paragraph at the end of the story... only as a hint, mind. Worried about getting sued, boys?

Even this wasn't the most amazing news of the season though. That came down at the Oval, where Surrey are under the leadership of 22-year-old Rory Hamilton-Brown. He's one of several big signings at the once-great, still-rich Brown Caps. Another is Chris Tremlett, from Hampshire. Remember him? Yup, so do Hampshire, that's why they let him go. Tremmers is absent from the first game against Derbyshire, being 'rested' in an 'effort to manage his workload'. Hamilton-Brown must have enjoyed reflecting on that as Chris Rogers reached his 200. Only six months to go, Rory...

Update: We can now officially cut the ribbon on the season. Ramps has gone past 100. Just the 18 boundaries in that. Some things are eternal.