Second Test Day Five: 99 Problems [but the pitch ain't one]

On The Rise: New ICC Test Rankings out - Australia up one place to fourth

A week's a long time... 'He is a bit of an X-factor for the Australians. He's the sort of guy who gives them a bit of aggro and that's exactly what they need. They need some penetration in their bowling attack' - Mark Taylor on... Mitchell Johnson

Devil's number: 666 - the number of 4s hit by Kevin Pietersen in Test cricket following his knock in Adelaide

Phil Space Award, Best Metaphor: 'The final two days at Adelaide, we were assured, was when we would find out what this Australian team was made of. The results are not yet back from the lab, but it seems to be some sort of gooey, soft-centred material that melts rapidly when heat is applied, is easily removed from flat surfaces, does not bounce or spin and which stinks to high heaven' - Richard Hinds, SMH

Wagging tail: 0 - the number of runs scored by number eight batsmen in this series so far [four innings in total, by Broad, Johnson and Harris]

Maybe give the newsagents a miss, boys: Those Australian newspaper headlines in full - 'This Isn't Working'; 'Australian Cricket A Product Of Self-Indulgence'; 'This Side Would Be Lucky To Beat Bangladesh'; 'Blunders, Bloopers And Clean-Bowled'; 'Let's Rearrange The Deckchairs In The Australian Team'; 'Slide Feels As Bad As 80s Nadir'; 'Axe Could Fall At Summer's End'...

...And: 'Sorry Punter It's Time For Captain Warnie' [SMH]; 'At 41, Warne Our Only Spin Option' [Courier-Mail]

Shane's plans: 'London UK tonight. Etihad Airways I'm flying. Best airline in the world' - via Twitter

Leave him, it's not worth it: At least there was one decent fight at the Adelaide Oval

Shane Watson - predictable: Has passed 30 in all nine innings he has played against England, but never made more than 62 [more statto oddities from Andy Zaltzman here]