Sunday, 16 May 2010
Friday, 14 May 2010
The enemy that will not die
England's equipment checklist for sunday:
Bats
Balls
Pads/Helmets
Protective gear
Boots
Clothing
Silver bullets
Stakes [to be driven through hearts]
Garlic
Ensure the Kensington Oval is a] consecrated ground b] built on a crossroads
Bats
Balls
Pads/Helmets
Protective gear
Boots
Clothing
Silver bullets
Stakes [to be driven through hearts]
Garlic
Ensure the Kensington Oval is a] consecrated ground b] built on a crossroads
Wednesday, 12 May 2010
Juggernauts
As anyone who works out or knows anything about bodybuilding understands, there is one immutable law of muscle. To make it grow, you must break it down, destroy its fibres. Stressed to failure, it responds by getting stronger.
If you get it right, if you're genetically blessed and chemically enhanced and fed and watered just so, if you're prepared to let a single goal consume your life, you might end up something like this fella. This is Ronnie Coleman, an eight time winner of the Mr Olympia title, winning in 2003. It was a year when Coleman's mighty rule had come under challenge, and he responded by hiding away at his gym in Arlington, Texas for 12 months before reappearing on stage in Vegas carrying more muscle than perhaps any human being ever has. In 2003, Ronnie Coleman was intergalactically huge. He blew the rest of the world away.
The Australian T20 side put me in mind of Ronnie Coleman the other day. Stressed to failure, they have responded by growing stronger. They've reappeared in the West Indies juiced up, oiled and loaded, formidably freakish at the top of the order in both batting and bowling. They're carrying some serious muscle and they're blowing the world away.
T20 cricket is slowly being ramped to extremes. Who knows where it will end. At the outer limits of speed and power, probably. Can anyone stop Australia this time? Oddly, maybe Pakistan, with their left-field, out there wildcards, stand a better chance than those who would fight fire with fire. One thing's for sure: the rest will respond to muscle with more muscle next time. There's no going back from here.
If you get it right, if you're genetically blessed and chemically enhanced and fed and watered just so, if you're prepared to let a single goal consume your life, you might end up something like this fella. This is Ronnie Coleman, an eight time winner of the Mr Olympia title, winning in 2003. It was a year when Coleman's mighty rule had come under challenge, and he responded by hiding away at his gym in Arlington, Texas for 12 months before reappearing on stage in Vegas carrying more muscle than perhaps any human being ever has. In 2003, Ronnie Coleman was intergalactically huge. He blew the rest of the world away.
The Australian T20 side put me in mind of Ronnie Coleman the other day. Stressed to failure, they have responded by growing stronger. They've reappeared in the West Indies juiced up, oiled and loaded, formidably freakish at the top of the order in both batting and bowling. They're carrying some serious muscle and they're blowing the world away.
T20 cricket is slowly being ramped to extremes. Who knows where it will end. At the outer limits of speed and power, probably. Can anyone stop Australia this time? Oddly, maybe Pakistan, with their left-field, out there wildcards, stand a better chance than those who would fight fire with fire. One thing's for sure: the rest will respond to muscle with more muscle next time. There's no going back from here.
Monday, 10 May 2010
The rest is noise
Halfway through New Zealand's innings tonight, Stuart Broad comes on to bowl to Scott Styris. He brings his fine leg, Ryan Sidebottom, up inside the circle. He bowls a long hop outside leg stump. Styris easily gets inside the line and whacks it past Sidebottom. Broad goes double teapot and gobs Sidebottom off for not stopping it...
There's some irony in the above, in that Sidebottom is by some distance England's least temperate cricketer in terms of displaying his emotions on the pitch. Yet Broad is not far off him now. Is it coincidence that they are the two England bowlers under the most pressure?
That would be a simple conclusion, and might contain some truth. But there seems to be a wider, more modern cause too. Broad and Sidders are of the generation of the sports psychologist. They've doubtless listened to hours of jargon and hype about process and hunger and the 'right' mental state. In short, they've probably been conned into thinking their bowling will seem faster if they bowl it with 'attitude'.
Yet despite the image of the mouthy tearaway fast bowler, what's remarkably common about many of the most deadly is their serpentine calm. Even Thommo and Lillee seemed to posture for effect rather than anything else. When they were bowling well, they didn't bother. Didn't need to. Think also of the implacable and implacably great Marshall, or of the vast stoicism of Walsh, or the knowing grin of Ambrose, or Waqar's marginally creased brow and McGrath's amusing chunter.
The truth is, if you've got it, you know it. You don't need to tell anyone - they already understand. Increasingly, we're learning about Broad and Sidebottom, too.
There's some irony in the above, in that Sidebottom is by some distance England's least temperate cricketer in terms of displaying his emotions on the pitch. Yet Broad is not far off him now. Is it coincidence that they are the two England bowlers under the most pressure?
That would be a simple conclusion, and might contain some truth. But there seems to be a wider, more modern cause too. Broad and Sidders are of the generation of the sports psychologist. They've doubtless listened to hours of jargon and hype about process and hunger and the 'right' mental state. In short, they've probably been conned into thinking their bowling will seem faster if they bowl it with 'attitude'.
Yet despite the image of the mouthy tearaway fast bowler, what's remarkably common about many of the most deadly is their serpentine calm. Even Thommo and Lillee seemed to posture for effect rather than anything else. When they were bowling well, they didn't bother. Didn't need to. Think also of the implacable and implacably great Marshall, or of the vast stoicism of Walsh, or the knowing grin of Ambrose, or Waqar's marginally creased brow and McGrath's amusing chunter.
The truth is, if you've got it, you know it. You don't need to tell anyone - they already understand. Increasingly, we're learning about Broad and Sidebottom, too.
Baby KP: naming rights
KP and Mrs KP are proud parents of a son. Congratulations to them. No name has been announced as yet, so the book is open:
Kevin Pietersen Jnr - 2-1 on
Kaypee - 3-1
Kevin Pietersen II - 4-1
Peter Kevin Pietersen ['PK'] - 5-1
Lalit - 50-1
Pellara - 66-1
Graeme, Jacques, Mooresy - 1,000,000-1
Kevin Pietersen Jnr - 2-1 on
Kaypee - 3-1
Kevin Pietersen II - 4-1
Peter Kevin Pietersen ['PK'] - 5-1
Lalit - 50-1
Pellara - 66-1
Graeme, Jacques, Mooresy - 1,000,000-1
Saturday, 8 May 2010
Many a true word...
David Lloyd during commentary on England v South Africa:
'That was the slow bouncer again. Or the long hop, as it used to be called.'
'That was the slow bouncer again. Or the long hop, as it used to be called.'
The freaky future: a sneak preview
A while ago, I blogged that one of the coming developments in T20 would be a bloke who runs up, bowls four overs at 150kph and goes home. Doesn't play ODIs, doesn't play Tests.
Yesterday, it began. Tait and Nannes gave India more than they could handle. On a quickish pitch, they were brutal. Now, where can we find a few more like them?
Yesterday, it began. Tait and Nannes gave India more than they could handle. On a quickish pitch, they were brutal. Now, where can we find a few more like them?
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