As Kevin Pietersen emerges, rather touchingly, as cricket's most uxorious man, it's hard not to wish that Frederick Sewards Trueman were still here to offer a view from behind a cloud of pipesmoke.
When I was a kid, I had one of Fred's numerous autobiographies as an audiobook. He read it himself. It was called Ball Of Fire, a title that, given the contents, qualified only as a single entendre.
Fred had enjoyed a career renaissance in his middle years, mainly as a glorious, naysaying expert on Test Match Special, but also as the presenter of a lunchtime television programme called Indoor League, in which people played darts, billiards, skittles, arm-wrestling and other pub games in real pubs while Fred smoked his pipe, supped ale and added colour commentary. He closed each show with the catchphrase 'Ah'll sithee'.
Ball Of Fire was similarly rough-hewn. In a section about married life, he wrote about the six-month winter tours without wives that England undertook, and the strains they placed on him. Of Mrs Trueman, he said, 'she must have known that I'd had the odd bird'.
Well if she didn't, she did after Ball Of Fire came out.
The other part I remember clearly was Fred's disdainful comment on Lance Gibbs beating his world record of 307 Test wickets. 'I know that Gibbs crawled past it eventually,' he drawled, 'but he was an off-spinner'.
Which we all know doesn't count. Ah'll sithee.
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Sir Richard Paddles, on being interviewed after Kapil Dev passed his 431 test wickets:
BBC: “So, Sir Richard, how will Kapil be feeling now?”
Paddles: “Very tired I’d imagine. He bowled a lot more overs to get there than I did.”
Hadlee was never known for his graciousness.
There aren't anywhere near enough cricket articles and blog posts that include words like uxorious. Outside of a Gideon Haigh column, that is.
Was Phil Edmonds a trail-blazer uxorious-wise?
Ungracious, but a good line! Bet he'd worked it out beforehand...
Tony, you're right, Philippe must have been one of the first - wasn't he sledged about 'being Frances Edmonds' husband' at some point? Don't know if they're still together now, sadly...
Ah I have fond memories of reading Ball Of Fire too. Good to know I am not alone...
Nige, I'm getting pangs for it. It's watching those old clips of Indoor League.
They don't write 'em like that any more etc.
OB,
Might I suggest a reading of Monty's autobiography to sate your pangs?
Brilliant post as always.
Thanks Prabu, You're right. I need to calm down and read something sensible!
"Ungracious, but a good line! Bet he'd worked it out beforehand."
You don't say.
Hadlee would've been working on that one even before he'd overtaken Botham.
Ha! Good old Hadlee, appreciated but rarely loved...
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